Plantiekatie Rantiekatie: The first rule of legal cannabis is you don’t talk about legal cannabis

The second rule of legal cannabis is you don’t TALK about legal cannabis.

I know what most of you are thinking. Uh, people won’t shut up about legal cannabis. That is true. However, for people trying to break into the industry with small start ups or for people who simply have a website full of cannabis information, these rules are heavily enforced. For example, as you might have noticed while perusing my website, I don’t actually sell any cannabis products. Yet I am still banned from advertising almost everywhere. Google Ads will not take my money despite the federally legal status of cannabis in Canada. Why? It promotes “recreational drugs”.

Luckily for me this is not my full time job. I did not invest thousands upon thousands of dollars into starting a company that has to jump through hoops of regulations and ridiculous lottery systems in order to simply exist. I am not a legacy owner who was screwed out of permission to sell recreational cannabis after decades of lobbying to end prohibition. Someone whose goal is to simply help people get the medication they need to make it through their day without needing to depend on dangerous pharmaceuticals crammed with opium. I mean why would you want a responsible, well informed person who has been studying this plant for decades to sell it?

Oh. You WOULD prefer that. Too bad. That is not how things work here in Ontario.

I think this is probably a good time to point out that my opinions are my own (albeit heavily researched). I am in no way endorsed by any companies. I am not a doctor. It’s very possible I will be put in some kind of advertising jail for this (again) and not be able to post ads for other random businesses on my site. If I lose out on advertising revenue so be it. It’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means I can give a voice to the muzzled.

The cannabis industry is unable to advertise like any other business. It is barred almost everywhere, and yet alcohol is plastered across buses and billboards. This applies to the medicinal market as well as the recreational market. Big Pharma can advertise all sorts of prescription drugs, naming a plethora of horrific side effects at the end for legal purposes, however you might have missed seeing or hearing anything in traditional advertising platforms about the benefits of cannabis. Once again, it’s simply not allowed. It’s a pity because the most common side effect of low dose cannabis treatments is dry mouth which one can remedy by simply hydrating with water, herbal tea or juice. It doesn’t even come with a list of horrific organ deterioration warnings or explosive diarrhea.

I have gone to some great meet ups and information sessions, which is really one of the only ways most companies can openly talk about their products. These are products that the public should know about too. For example: One in ten women suffer from Endometriosis. This often causes intense pain during intercourse as well as infertility. ONE IN TEN. Currently these women are told there isn’t a cure. Depending on the degree of severity doctors will suggest hormonal therapy or in extreme cases – surgery. Let’s just remove that pesky uterus shall we? You won’t be needing it anyway. However, quietly lurking in the corners of the internet you will find women who were able to once again enjoy sex with their partners, who were, against all odds, able to become pregnant. How? A regime of cannabis suppositories and cannabis infused lube. The problem is there isn’t enough scientific data or proper studies to back it up. They’re working on it. It costs a lot of money but there are people out there investing in this research in order to give it the viability it needs so they can market and distribute these products. There are companies who are pouring their hearts and souls into helping women everywhere because they have seen such amazing results where there seemed to be little hope. In the meantime, however, they’re not allowed to talk about it. It doesn’t matter if it happens to actually WORK. I don’t even know if I can talk about it for them and name names because I don’t want to get them in any kind of trouble that would delay this process any longer.

So what can I do? Well to begin with I’ll start posting all the upcoming talks and events I can. The more we talk the faster things change. Do I start pushing the boundaries of what’s “allowed”?

I can hear the Canadian protesters now.

What do we want? A level playing field!

When do we want it? Preferably soon to avoid bankruptcy!

Despite all the great changes that legalization has brought, it’s implimentation has created unimaginable red tape issues for the average entrepreneur. The rules put in place cover a thinly veiled cannabis monopoly. In it’s infancy we already need a restructuring of the system in order for it to prosper. Do my viewpoints seem outlandish? Check out this article from global news. It is a tiny drop in the bucket of regulation issues.


All I can do is shake my head and rant. I’ll keep clicking away at my keyboard until someone listens. Until some sort of level playing field is established.

In the meantime, I will leave you with the very important third rule of legal cannabis:

Don’t feed the Mogwai after midnight. I don’t care how cute he is or if he has the munchies. It’s a bad idea and a matter of public safety. I think even the bureaucrats would agree with me there.

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